Tag Archive | breast cancer mamogram biopsy doctor lump mass lesion

Now That Explains A Lot!

I paid a visit to the oncologist this week. I have been extremely fatigued and have continued having pain on my right rib cage side. The fatigue is what cancer survivors term ‘chemo fatigue’, which is a type of “tired” that I only ever felt while going through chemo a couple of years ago. It comes in waves, but hits hard and makes me feel like I must lay down and SLEEP right away. Just a total lack of energy by 10:30 a.m. and this after a full 9 hours of good sleep at night! The doctor ordered two tests. One, a blood test to check for anemia, and another, a PET scan to check and make sure cancer hasn’t spread anywhere. The blood work came back very evident that I have a B-12 deficiency. He prescribed mega doses of B-12 and told me that if I didn’t feel better in a couple of weeks we would start B-12 shots and see why my body isn’t absorbing B-12 through my diet. So this explains a lot!  Now I wait for the PET scan which is scheduled for 2 weeks from now.   I had a clear one of those in November, so I am not expecting them to find anything earth shattering.  Still, it will be nice to get another all clear from cancer!
I also had a pelvic/uterine ultrasound this week and am still waiting for those results. Something lit up on my MRI in February that was non-descript. The gyn. wanted me to wait a couple menstrual cycles before looking again via U.S. When I had the exam I told the tech about it and she said, “No ‘it’s’ still there. I see it”. Of course, she can’t tell me what it might be or what she thinks, so the radiologist is looking at the views and I hope to hear this week. I will admit I’m a bit curious. It is in the myometrium, the inner walls of the uterine muscle, not the lining. Any thoughts from anyone here who may have had this? I’ll just say symptoms in this “female” regard are “annoying”…no pain though. (The only reason we found this was in the hunt for what may be causing the pain on my right side, of which this isn’t even in the same vicinity!)

This has been a very eventful week in our family. Kelli, our youngest graduated Summa Cum Laude from high school, so now we are officially “Empty Nesters” once she leaves for college in 2 months.  We’ve also had a lot of visits with Tim to doctors and E.R.’s for his
3-week-long  shoulder/neck problems, which MRI finally revealed to be a herniated disc and subsequent pinched nerve and mobility problems with his left arm.  He is due to see a spinal surgeon this week at Bethesda Naval Medical Center in Maryland.  Father’s Day is next weekend, but currently, golf, tennis and kayaking (3 of his favorite activities) are out of the question!  I will keep you posted as to what happens next on Tim’s medical front. Please pray for Tim.

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Another disappointment

Blood tests came back today. I did not test positive for the antigen necessary for me to participate in the San Antonio clinical trial breast cancer vaccine. I really had my hopes up  – why else would I have been led down this path? That remains to be seen now. If anything I guess it goes to show that as patients it is really up to us to know what is out there in the way of cutting edge research and available trials. The doctors certainly aren’t focused on doing that across the board. I just really am at a very down place right now in all of this. 
I am scheduled for a breast mri next Friday and then my oncologist would like to investigate further into why I am not getting relief from the pain in my side and wants to determine what that is.  He emphasised again today that he does not want to give up on that.  Personally, I am tested OUT, and scanned to the point of “glowing”. I’m not sure what more there could be but he has some ideas.  I told him I want to get past next week’s mri first.
After getting today’s news, I got in my car and turned on the radio and here is the song that was on. Thanks God.

Really?

Today I saw a gynocologist at Walter Reed Army Medical Center. She had been in practice over 30 years. She was sort of that cold, hardened, brash type, well, you can picture her. (I do not mean any disrespect at all to our fine women serving in the US military.) But, with 30 years under her belt, I figured I was in good hands.

She, without even doing an exam wanted to tell me I should have my ovaries shut down (this due more in part, I suspect to my breast cancer history being positive for hormone stimulation), and I explained that my oncologist and I have discussed that and that was not the reason for my visit today.

I explained the pain I have been having since August and that it is on my side (rib area) and near my navel, and that my oncologist was able to find it precisely when palpating near the navel, and that
it is intermittent, but persistent, daily, and spontaeneous. She did an exam and told me she believed that I may have adhesions of the uterus but that the chances of them causing problems now 16 years after my last c-section was pretty slim, and that if that is the cause of this pain they would have to take the whole uterus and ovary anyway. Wait, but didn’t she just say she didn’t think that was the cause of this pain? I think she just wants my ovary! Maybe she keeps them in a jar on her shelf or something. Strange! Oh yeah, and then she proceeded to tell me to stop all coffee and diet cokes for a month and that may be the cause of this. Huh? Then she said that the pain on my side might be “gas”. I said, “For 4 and a half MONTHS?” Really?

Never once did she palpate the area of my pain. Only the area of the uterus and ovary, which doesn’t hurt at all. My oncologist had suggested an abdominal AND pelvic mri but this gynocologist only put in for the pelvic stating that gyn is her specialty. So I now have a message in to my oncologist to ask him if he might spare me a trip and put in for the abdominal mri along with the pelvic mri which is scheudled for the 12th of January.

Round and round and round we go – where this stops, nobody knows!

Dead End

Today was my colonoscopy. This was after 2 straight days of not eating. Needless to stay I was a wee bit grumpy to start with. Up all night as the prep took affect, then fasting with no coffee this morning, but I made it and had looked so forward to having the answers I have desperately been seeking for 4 months. Why this pain in my abdomen? The nurse who started my IV got it going on the first try which was a first! Whew! Hard part down! I waited about 30 – 45 minutes and then they took me back to the room where they sedated me and performed the procedure. This is the same place I had my endoscopies in August and October recently, and according to them the same exact dosing of anesthetic drugs to sedate me. Well, that was a disaster today. I did not fall asleep, in fact I was relaxed and awake and screaming in pain for most all of the 27 minute procedure. At every turn in my colon I felt terrible pain. The doctor kept telling me it would almost be over, and for short periods the pain would pass but then he would have to make another turn. I just couldn’t believe it. I had never heard of this happening to anyone before. After I went back to recovery, the doctor came to speak with me and told me he didn’t find anything to explain the pain I have had for 4 months, nothing to biopsy, nor explanation for the pain during today’s events. He said that if I ever have to have this procedure done again he would recommend general anesthesia since he had given me the highest possible dose today and for some reason it did not do the trick. From what I understand, colonoscopies are not normally painful and so patients generally just dose off to sleep during them. So why so much pain in there? I hope to follow up with all of my questions tomorrow with my g.i. doctor and or oncologist. My g.i. doc was not the one to do today’s test, but maybe he has some ideas. I feel like I have reached a dead end in this pursuit and and I am very frustrated and exhausted from all of my searching and I am no closer to an answer. Only that when I searched on line I am NOT the only patient that this has ever happened to. It’s more common than I realized. I’m going to go eat some ice cream!

A Change Of Pace

I am in Missouri this week, babysitting my 2 year old nephew and 5 year old niece. Ten days of stepping back YEARS in my own life of 6 a.m.wakeup calls and bed time giggles and story time.

The joys of childhood’s innocence! There is nothing quite like that wide eyed wonder of falling leaves, spider webs, starry skies and making pancakes!
Today we spent the day at a working farm with barn animals, a place we use to take our own kids 15 years ago when we lived here. A dry, sunny Indian Summer day, and perfect for our picnic too!

I captured lots of great photo shots (even showed my niece how to get a great pose! She took this photo of me) – and we enjoyed a visit with grandpa and grandma in the afternoon.
Even though this is an exhausting pace,it is a wonderful change of pace, and one that I am thoroughly enjoying! Read more below…
Although I am on a bit of a working “vacation”, I am ALWAYS in the fight against breast cancer, and reading, researching, and collecting all of the information that I can.The month of October has no shortage of resources! Click on this link or directly on the video at the bottom of this page to listen to what Dr. Susan Love has to say about where we need to go now in our fight, and how the pink ribbon awareness campaigns of 25 years have worn out their welcome….what we need now is to END breast cancer.

Can I quit cancer?

I was asked tonight (by a woman I met), “So are you cancer free now?”  I’m sure a lot of people wonder that about those of us who have had cancer and the straight up answer is, I hope so!

“No evidence of disease, or NED, is the new ‘remission”.  But there is no cure for cancer and a certain percentage of cancers will recur, and nobody really knows if it will happen to them. Statistics get thrown around, charts and studies would conclude that the odds are in my favor of remaining NED, but there are no guarantees as we would all hope for. Such a guarantee  is just out of reach.  If it were, then I could stop thinking about it on a daily basis and we could all just leave Cancerland behind us.

I woke up the other day and thought to myself, what if I just didn’t talk about breast cancer anymore. What if I stopped going to support groups, stopped visit the oncologist, stopped hanging out with fellow survivors for coffee and lunch dates, WHAT IF I JUST QUIT CANCER?  Maybe THAT is what would get me to move further along up the road. I’ve learned of plenty of people who did just that. They never spoke of it again, and they went on in their lives and stopped identifying themselves as survivors. But then later in the week I was working the volunteer hotline and took a phone call from a woman who has stage 4 breast cancer which has spread to her bones.  She really needed someone. I found it hard to relate to a lot of what she is going through, but then we found the common bond of our faith, and it was there that I realized my BEING here in Cancer is for women like her. Women who need a ray of hope.   A hand of compassion.  There is a sisterhood here that few can understand. I know that when I was in my darkest hour I needed the survivors whom I met and became my friends. I needed the help of those who had gone before me and came out the other side, happy and healthy. I needed them like others need me now and so I guess I won’t be “quiting” cancer anytime soon.

Satisfied

“No change”.

This was the word I received from my oncologist in a phone call today. Last week’s CT scan of my right lung noted no changes (or growth) to the nodule seen in March, and they want to re-scan it again in 6 months. An enlarged lymph node was noted as well. I guess I am suppose to feel relieved….”satisfied”….but somehow I feel, well, in limbo.  Like I am waiting for a bomb to drop. They wouldn’t give me the “all clear”…And maybe this feeling comes from having been through cancer and having a bomb dropped on me once before, without warning, without symptoms, vulnerable and scared.  A post traumatic stress disorder, of sorts.  Always feeling like I must remain on guard. Always on watch. Terrified of it coming back again, terrified of it killing me.  I’ve probably read w-a-y too many stories and heard far too many unfavorable outcomes, and so it’s easy to let myself fear the worst, but then I must remind myself that all too often its not the good outcome stories we hear about or the stories of triumph and survival, and I know there are far more of those than not .  But for the time being I must be satisfied with this result and consider it as my doctor said, “good news”. 🙂  I am taking an oral anti-cancer drug now which is suppose to starve off any lingering cancer cells that might try to grow, and I take this drug for the next 5 years so I am doing everything within my power to stay cancer free.  That is all I can do.  “Give it up to God” what I can’t do, as my son says!  Besides, there’s nothing telling us this that this nodule is cancerous,  unless it starts to grow, and so that is what they keep checking.

This coming weekend that son, Keith, graduates from high school and leaves 2 days later to work at Young Life camp at US Army Camp Darby, Italy, on crew along with a couple hundred other staffers.  We are busy getting him packed up and ready to be away for a month.  Needless to say he is a wee bit excited!

Fathers Day orders poured in last week and I have been busily stamping up my projects and trying to stay afloat! This, plus making plans for Tim’s retirement and booking all of the details for our England/Ireland trip give me little time for fretting! Now to go to a cupcake!

Here is a great song about how I know one can get through trials of any kind. It is called “I Get On My Knees”. It’s called prayer…crying out to the heart of God…take a listen! If you can’t see the embed video, click here . “Cuz I’ve learned in laughter or in pain, how to SURVIVE! I get on my knees!”

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To view archived entries dating back to Sept. 2008, see the list at the right below the photos and links.