Tag Archive | christian

Am I Atypical?

Apparently I am! That’s what the dermatologist called to tell me today. The mole removed from my abdomen last week was determined to be Atypia, in other words, “pre-cancerous”, but the margins were clear.  He wants me to be checked again in 4 months, 8 months, 12 months, then every year. (Thanks to my maternal grandmother and paternal grandfather, both of whom had numerous skin cancer lesions). The mole itself was only the size of a small pearl, but quite dark.  Now I am left with what is sure to be a nasty scar, about the size of a large pea, but seeing as I have no intentions of wearing a bikini anytime soon, it is well hidden! If you really must see it, click here.

I have an appointment with my oncologist next week since the pain on my right rib cage area has not improved in almost a year and I have had continued bouts of tender swelling in my groin on that side for over a year as well.  I have numerous sharp, tender “jabs” under my rib cage and towards my back each and every day. At times it is a take-your-breath-away pain, but it is brief and so I deal with it. I’ve almost become accustom to it, so much so that I have stopped all pain medications because they make me too loopy and I guess I would say that the jabs are tolerable (as much as one can stand being “slugged” in their side every day)! I’ll wait to see what tricks Dr. G may have yet left in his bag.  I’m imagining the standard blood work, another scan, and another, “we can’t find anything” result but it is what cancer survivors do. It is the drill for at least 5 years, and sometimes beyond.  As much as I would like to let it go, and decide once and for all that this is nothing to worry about, the fact is that I do worry and I feel very strongly that it is not normal. Fortunately for me, neither does my doctor, and he is on a mission to find it.

Summer is officially underway and next week at this time we will be graduating our last high schooler and attending college orientation soon. This same daughter plans on auditioning for American Idol in Pittsburgh later this summer as well. She can only take one parent with her. We’ll be fighting over that assignment!

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Are you talking to me God?

As we were driving home from church today, we passed by this sign on the side of the road.  I remembered that our Bible study leader said a couple of weeks ago that our attitude (our “mood”, if you will) is all determined by a single thought.  From there flows the attitudes of our heart and mind.  We can choose to listen to the negative, self defeating messages barreling at us, or we can speak God’s truths to ourselves and change our whole perspective.  Things like “I am valuable”, “God cares about me”, “God wants to use me”, “”He will never leave me or forsake me”, these words are shaping my view of my current circumstances and helping me stay positive and looking UP!  Funny how God speaks to us even as we’re driving down the road.  On September 10th I had to take my dog to the vet clinic.  I had just had my first core needle biopsy two days before that and was understandably pretty nervous and anxious.  There in the parking lot as I was pulling out of my parking spot, I glanced at the bumper of the car parked next to me.  On it was a sticker that read “Do Not Fear” and  a cross next to the words.  Hmmmm…was God talking to me?  Then as I pulled out onto the main road, a big truck got in front of me.  Plastered across the back were these words – “God Will Supply Everything You Need”.  I then had no doubt that reaching down from Heaven to my little finite world was the creator of the universe speaking to my soul and comforting me and instructing me.  I hadn’t at that point gone searching the Bible for peace…I was still wandering around feeling sorry for myself and full of anxiety.  But God reached out to me and spoke to me right where I was.  Again today I was reminded that His hand in in my life and through the words of others and through His words in The Bible and elsewhere He wants to communicate His love to me.