Survival – Learning To Cope

This month, 3 years  ago, was the beginning of my cancer journey. My October 1st diagnosis cancer anniversary is approaching this week. What should be a time of celebration and victory, surviving 3 years, is, instead, a time of high anxiety and stress, it seems. For the past month I have lived on the edge of dread since discovering a new lump in my other breast. FINALLY, this week it was revealed that it is only a simple cyst and nothing to worry about. Another bullet dodged. This time.

All the while, pink washing is happening around me, around all of us. You’ve seen it, undoubtedly…pink things for sale everywhere you look, from Tic Tacs to fabric scissors and in every string of television commercials. For a breast cancer survivor these things bring a mix of emotions.  A “love / hate ” relationship with PINK.   For all of the fund raising and walking, and emphasis on awareness, we seem nowhere closer to a cure than we were 3 years ago. The advances being made are primarily in the clinical trials for metastatic breast cancer…stage 4…the worst kinds, the rising numbers of young women dying from the disease, having had it spread to other parts of their bodies. More women, not fewer, are being diagnosed with breast cancer every year. Where are we going wrong?

I have had 3 weeks of B-12 shots now, and will continue weekly for the next couple of weeks and then they will test my levels to see if I can go just once a month. I haven’t noticed a huge change in my energies, but small gradual changes, like I crash and burn  at 4 PM instead of 11 AM. I’ll take that.

I will  have a surgical biopsy of a mole on my abdomen next month (which was removed in May) and showed atypical cells in the pathology report. It grew back. “We never like to see that”, my dermatologist said.  He sent me to the dermatological surgeon, who determined it needed a different type of biopsy, the type with stitches. Oh goodie! So much for my 2012 bikini debut! The surgeon is booked for the next 4 weeks.Wait and anxiety – they go hand in hand.

That same week in October (17th) I will also have a uterine biopsy via a D & C operative hysteroscopy under general anesthesia. This is to determine the cause of what has been a year long battle of female problems, and discoveries on my pelvic MRI and Ultrasounds.  Please pray the findings of that will be easy to diagnose and treat.

So you can see that October, in and of itself, is a month of anxious thoughts for me but there are a lot of additional concerns on my plate this October.

For all of the ups and downs of health related issues, my by-line of this blog remains the same…

“Surviving Breast Cancer By The Grace Of God“.


4 thoughts on “Survival – Learning To Cope

  1. Koryn,
    Your blog was so inspiring to read. When I started reading it, I was sad and frustrated and hurt for you, but when I read your last line, seeing that your strength and your hope and your faith lies in God, I was encouraged. More than you will ever know.

    Praying for you… to find some answers, healing and peace.

  2. hi koryn—there is a movie here in Canada you might be interested in–you probably have already heard of it—i haven’t seen it,but the sentiment is one i share—

  3. I know what you’re saying, Koryn. When I see people who haven’t seen me for a long time, they’re always reminding me of women they’ve known who had cancer “now a 10-yr (or some random number) survivor. It’s always nice to know these statistics but they don’t offer a guarantee, do they? I’m always anxious before and after a scheduled scan and every little new thing–like that mole you’re watching–is cause for new concern. All I can offer is that you keep sharing–a burden shared, with hubby, friends, etc., is a burden made just a little lighter. You’re always in the back of my mind.

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