All of these…

The words that form this ribbon <——- are all words that describe the journey I began 18 months ago and the journey I am still on. Top on the list? Top of the ribbon- fear. Every day it tries to sneak in and consume my thoughts and steal my joy. Once again this week I treked up to see my doctor for pain in my sternum, that bone between the two sides of your chest.  A new pain.  She seems to believe it could be caused by the constant spasms in the chest muscle that covers my implant. Constant pulling and tugging, the cartilage between the sternum and rib cage becomes inflamed and is called costochondritis.  The only treatment is pain management using anti-inflammatory drugs until the inflammation subsides. But for a breast cancer patient any pain signals that deep seated fear that the cancer could have returned.  She scheduled my next mammogram for 3 weeks from now and we’ll go from there. She really believed if it were anything to “worry” about, it would have shown up on these recent scans and x-rays and mri I had. The appointment for my numbness in my back is this coming Monday with an orthopedic doctor.

We have out of town guests this week and Kelli in her school musical so the busy-ness is helping to keep me distracted. My business with wedding season and Mothers’ Day has also exploded, so I guess I don’t have time to worry too much.  I have begun my counseling work  Network Of Strength which helps keep my mind off my own cares and focus on someone else’s new diagnosis and getting them through an emotionally difficult time.

4 thoughts on “All of these…

  1. Koryn,

    ZoAnn and I are praying for you.. We manage 2 email prayer teams with over 700 people on them. I will add a prayer request on it for your healing and overcoming..

    I have subscribed to your website so I will stay in contact..

    We send you our prayers and blessings..

    Frank and ZoAnn

  2. Hi Koryn,
    You are so right on about the fear. This week I have been feeling a bit sore. They think I just overdid it, and to take it easy. But those insidious thoughts invade my mind. I am hoping and praying that you too just overdid it. I’m thinking of you.

  3. Dear Koryn – I’m so sorry you are still battling with your body right now…casting your cares and worries is much harder when you have survived cancer, chemo, surgery, treatment, infections, and the rest. I HATE that cancer can leave us fearful at times, but God is so big, bigger than any fear we can muster. I will be praying for you to be able to have peace in the midst of the fear and wisdom to listen to your body during uncertain times. Take care, friend, and enjoy these busy days. Fondly, Ann

  4. Hey Koryn! Thank you for your comment on my blog. What a lot has happened in a year, huh? I must have been psychic a year ago LOL! I’m sorry you are having problems with costochondritis. My Claire gets that a lot and I’ve even had to take her to the ER before now, it was that painful. So, I’m sending you some gentle hugs and wishing you all the best with Network of Strength. Having had a slight brush with my mortality, I too am looking at working with other sufferers when I’m a bit more up to it. I would like to create a local SAH support network… We’re still here for a reason, Koryn! Take care xxxx

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