Too Tired to Cry

il_430xn_23158529It’s now been more than two weeks since my last chemo treatment and I am still very tired and weak, more so than with the first two cycles.  For at least 10 days I was nauseated, then my nasal membranes were totally dried up and irritated, drippy and scabbed and  my eyes felt irritated.  A urinary track infection completed the list of irritants but was quickly treated.  The fatigue isn’t something a nap could make better – in fact it’s not like an “I need to sleep” tired….it’s an “I can hardly get up” tired.  It’s a ‘lay around all day on a couch  and get nothing done’  tired.  This has just dragged on a long time now.

About a week ago I started having pain on my right rib cage.  I called my doctor and she said she would see me this week (yesterday), which she did, and after doing an exam she said she thinks the source of my pain is  my liver.  She had me go for x-rays of chest and rig cage and ordered blood work , all of which we are still waiting on the results of.  I am still waiting for a call from her.  So in the meantime I am trying to take it easy, but still have things to get done (like car repair estimates after having been rear ended on Tuesday afternoon by a loaded dump truck – thankfully while we were both at a stop light), banking, shopping, etc.  I went for a short 25 minute walk today since the sun was out and it’s 60 degrees in February ! UPDATE: I spoke with the oncologist on call late today  and she wants me to come in in the morning. The radiologist recommends a bone scan and she wants to see me since my liver functions came back elevated. More info tomorrow (I hope)!

If I allowed myself  to, I think I could have a great big cry session – but I am just not up for it – that takes too much energy.  Occasionally a tear will fall, but I try keeping myself distracted now with things I enjoy.  Favorite TV shows, magazines, chats with girlfriends and baking cookies :)(Pre-made dough, of course!)


2 thoughts on “Too Tired to Cry

  1. Koryn, I want you to know that I have my entire Women’s Bible Study (around 15 women) praying for you. You have been on my heart and you are being uplifted in prayer, my friend.

    Love you Loads,

  2. Praying for you Koryn! Hope all goes well in the morning….and I hope they give you the results right then and there….no waiting over the weekend!!
    God bless,

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