Ten days ‘Til Christmas!

Are you ready?  I hear that question a lot.  Ready or not, here it comes, I say!  It’s been a little hard for me to focus on Christmas this year.  n642738267_1184323_1498Every sappy toy commercial that comes on television makes me cry.  Every mall crowded with shoppers only reminds me of the shallow life we all live in materialism.  I can’t get myself in the “spirit”.  Even watching the Santa Claus in the big mall yesterday, and all the excited little children, I saw a Santa who was tired, worn out and just doing a job.  Not the Santa I remember.  It felt meaningless.  Being with my husband, holding his hand when I felt tears coming over me just walking through the mall, now THAT has meaning to me.  We feel like we’re just wading through the motions of this season, waiting for a bomb to fall in 2 weeks when I begin chemo treatment.  Why, when I feel so good now does that have to ruin it all?  It just doesn’t feel fair.   I feel a little angry that it’s stealing what could be a wonderful holiday, but then again it reminds me of the ugly side of cancer.  I am grateful, however, for this extra week, and that I don’t have to start tomorrow as originally planned.  An extra week to make caramels, and be with my family, and to wrap gifts and make the special handmade things I love to do for my kids.  Today I am going to Let’s Dish to make up some advanced meals for future weeks, just to have on hand in the freezer.  (Thanks Carin, for taking me!) The boys will be home this week from college.  Christmas is coming, and yeah, ready or not, I’ll be here, and we will all be together!  That’s what it’s all about.


One thought on “Ten days ‘Til Christmas!

  1. Hi Koryn,

    How are you? I’m sorry I’ve been out of touch….just been busy trying to get things ready for Christmas. I finally wrote our holiday letter last night. It was so tough to do this year. So, now I need to get my cards done!

    I went out to lunch and a movie yesterday with my best friend from college. She is home for the holidays (she lives in NY). Tomorrow is my appointment with my oncologist.

    Its getting real! Chemo is approaching for both of us. No worries…we’ll help each other thru this!

    The sooner we start, the sooner we’ll be done, right?

    talk soon!

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