Battles lost and battles won

tristetraifeliciToday was my first day driving in more than 3 weeks.   I finally decided to try going without narcotics for a few hours, so that I could get myself to my dental appointment and do some grocery shopping.  I took some 800mg Motrin and off I went. No problems.  After my check up at the dentist, I went to the military base commissary (grocery store for you non-military follks).  When you first walk in, there is a counter where you have to display your ID card to get in.  There’s been a woman there checkin ID cards for 3 years named LeeAnn.  She lost her hair a couple of years ago, I assumed to cancer, and she always had a pink ribbon pin on, and a head scarf, or nothing covering her head at all, but I never actually talked to her.  When her hair grew back last year, I thought, hurray for her!  She’s beat cancer!  I saw her there every week for the past 3 years.  I haven’t been to the commissary in probably 6 weeks or more.  I wanted to tell LeeAnn my story today, in short form of course, to just let her know she’s been an inspiration to me since she continued to work her job throughout her ordeal.  Well,  that chance was never to happen.  Unknown to me, LeeAnn had a reccurance 3 months ago , this time in her brain, and she lost her battle with cancer last Friday.  She was 46 and has left behind 2 small children.  I managed to fight back tears the whole hour I was shopping.  By the time I got to the check out, I asked for some help from a clerk with the heavy items I had, as well as a second cart (I have two college sons coming home next week and Thanksgiving dinner to think about!)  so she gladly helped me, and we got to talking.  She asked if I knew Lee Ann, and I said no and asked if she did.  She said, no, that she had started working there just recently.  When I told her I was fighting breast cancer too, she asked if I would lose my hair, I said yes, and she said she doesn’t even have cancer and wears wigs because she just loves ’em!  I couldn’t believe she was wearing a wig!  She looked great.  I thanked her for her help and then it was time to pay the cashier.  I asked her if she knew Lee Ann and she said ‘yes’ ,  with a very sad face.  I leaned forward and showed her my pendant necklace that says “Fight Like A Girl” , and I said, “I’m fightin it myself”.  She took my hand in hers and said to me, “I’m an 8 year survivor, and you will be too!”  So that was my day from beginnning to end.  Battles lost, battles won, and hope for the future promised to me by an angel I don’t even know, but who knows that it’s possible, and promised a prayer for me.  And I believed it!

Tomorrow (Thursday) is my first consultation with oncology hematology where we discuss my chemo therapy plan.  I have a second opinion consult at the Naval hospital in 2 weeks for the same therapy.  I also see my surgeon tomorrow about the drain problem…the output is still too high for them to remove it, but they normally come out after just 2 weeks and here I am past 3 weeks!  I don’t know what he’s going to do but last week he mentioned possibly having to install another drain tomorrow….that doesn’t sound too fun.  It would have to be a semi-surgical procedure.  I have a friend taking me again, Tim coming along as well from work. I’m ready for that part to be over…it’s just in the way of everything like getting dressed, etc.  The worst part is, though the area where there is no drain and fluid build up causing pain.  I’m really ready to get that problem resolved.  So I should have news of some sort to report after tomorrow.  A big thanks for your prayers and help with everything.  Stopping by to walk the dog, checking in with a quick “howdy” on e-mails, cards in the mail…..they all lift me up and carry me through! ♥

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