Nesting

That’s what we use to call it when we were waiting for our babies to arrive…”Nesting”…cleaning the house, making things ready for a newcomer.  Now I am “ready-ing” my house to be without me fore a few days or weeks…catching up on all the laundry and house cleaning I’ve let slide.  I even climbed up into the attic and got down all the Christmas cards that will need addressing before the holiday season hits soon.  I’m glad I’ve always been on top of that project and purchased my cards at 50% off the year before!  Little things like this help me feel a sense of control in a world where things are all gone to pieces in a very short time.  I know that nothing will ever feel totally ready for what I am about to go through, and many things will have to just be left undone.  That’s okay.  I let go of perfection a long time ago.  This sort of feels like the calm before the storm.  How severe the winds will blow, I still don’t know.  So many friends have offered their help and yet I don’t know what I’ll need in the coming weeks.  Whatever it is, I feel confident that someone will be there to step in and take over.  Thank you to all of you.  Even if just to love on my very high-need dog. 🙂   I met my new friend yesterday, the neighbor who is also battling breast cancer.  What a delight!  She truly lifted my spirits and showed me that I, too, will overcome and feel whole  a month from now.  Yet both of us still face the toughest challenge yet of the chemo and radiation and both of us looked at each other with the same thought…”how hard is that going to be?”  I am just glad that we won’t face it alone and that we have each other now.  What a gift from God she is!  Her children were a real pick-me-up too – just so sweet and precious…two preschoolers with their innocence and playfulness.  Something to grasp on to in times of stark reality.  Four days until surgery is here….better get sweeping those dusty floors!

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